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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25656364">cold / warm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scatterbrained/pseuds/Scatterbrained'>Scatterbrained</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Matrix (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But I love these two a whole lot, F/M, I haven't written Matrix fanfic since 2001, Mention of Morpheus, Mention of Tank, Post Movie, Takes place after the first movie, and missed them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:34:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25656364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scatterbrained/pseuds/Scatterbrained</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They say she's cold. Always has been.</p><p>It's not true.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thomas Anderson | Neo/Trinity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cold / warm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was around in fandom back in '99, on forums and message boards of the time. Lately I've been remembering how much I love the franchise - the first movie particularly - and couldn't get this scene out of my head.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They say she's cold. Always has been.</p><p>It's not true.</p><p>It's always cold on the ship. But now, with holes torn through the outer hull and the auxiliary power reserved for the radar, it's colder than it's ever been before.</p><p>Trinity shivers when she closes the metal door to her room. </p><p>She told the others - Morpheus, Tank, Neo - she was going to get a blanket, then she'd return and help them continue clearing the ship. Morpheus told her to get some rest, she'd already done so much, and now, with the sentinels stripped to pieces and the larger holes in the ship covered with tarp, there wasn't much more they could do until the Logos got here. Trinity nodded, carefully avoiding Neo's eyes as she walked past all of them, over to the ladder and down to her room.<br/>
<br/>
Her room isn't much but it's hers. A retreat. In here, the world stands still. It’s where she goes to recharge.<br/>
<br/>
It's cold in here. Everything's always cold on the Neb. </p><p>Trinity looks at herself in the mirror for the first time since everything happened.<br/>
<br/>
Even though everything's changed, she looks the same. There are circles under her eyes, a smudge of grease on her cheek, but that's easily washed away. Less easy to rinse is the tight, hurtful feeling she carries with her at all times. The tight feeling of loss and change combined together like a Rubik's cube featuring her every color. She's always been able to keep them sorted. Now, it's like they are all mixed again.<br/>
<br/>
There's a spot of tension in the middle of her chest that hurts, like a ball of lead she has to carry with her wherever she goes. A ball of lead for the ones they've lost, whose bodies still lie under covers as they wait for the Logos to come and jump-start the Neb. Trinity has stood there, wordlessly mourned the only real people she's known. For the rest of the time she's busied herself trying to repair what she's been able to repair. She started with covering the holes in the hull of the ship the sentinels cut through, so that no more of the cold air of the real, sunless world gets into the ship. Here, it's cold enough as it is.</p><p>She wonders how sunlight really feels. They don't have the sun in the real world.</p><p>Another shiver goes through her.<br/>
<br/>
Trinity remembers the last time she was warm. Yesterday. When she'd waited for him to open his eyes, when he'd looked at her like his whole life was a question and she the answer. When he reached up and kissed her Trinity's whole body warmed; it's the closest thing she imagines she'll ever come to the warmth of the real sun.<br/>
<br/>
She's been avoiding Neo. They both know she has.<br/>
<br/>
She leaves the wash, starts folding the blankets on her bed. Folding blankets is <em>normal</em> and now that everything's changed, normal is what she needs.</p><p>As Trinity folds the blanket on her bed there's a knock on her metal door.<br/>
<br/>
"Who is it?"<br/>
<br/>
"It's me."<br/>
<br/>
<em>Neo</em>.<br/>
<br/>
Probably just as well. Nowhere to hide, now.<br/>
<br/>
"Come in."<br/>
<br/>
Trinity keeps folding the blanket on her bunk, adjusts the pillows as he enters. He looks pretty much the same as when she saw him last: he's still in the same clothes as when they entered the Matrix on the fateful mission that changed everything. Since the power went out they haven't been able to use the showers, and what little power they have after she got the auxiliary power running they need to keep their radar live in case of more incoming sentinels. It's been quiet out there, though. For now.<br/>
<br/>
But quiet is the opposite of what Trinity feels inside. She grabs on to things, brings out the sweaters to have something to do with her hands.<br/>
<br/>
Neo stands with his arms around his upper body. She can see he's shivering.<br/>
<br/>
"Are you okay?" she asks.<br/>
<br/>
"Yeah. Just... cold." Always cold on this damned ship. "Are you?"<br/>
<br/>
Trinity nods. If he could have read her mind, he would've heard something like, <em>no, I'm not. We just lost more than half our crew in a matter of days. My world's changed. And I don't know where to go from here - I don't know how to deal with you - so I keep doing things I actually know how to do</em>.<br/>
<br/>
"Listen, Trinity. I..."<br/>
<br/>
For a moment fear grips her chest like a claw. <em>Neo... please don't tell me you don't feel this. I've already lost so much.</em><br/>
<br/>
"I don't want to lose you."<br/>
<br/>
She's stunned.</p><p>He takes a step toward her but stops. That's when Trinity sees - he doesn't know what to do either. And suddenly she feels a lot less alone.<br/>
<br/>
Neo's eyes find hers. "I don't know what's going to happen. But I do know I can't do it without you. I need you, Trinity. And it's fine if you don't need me. I just wanted you to know."<br/>
<br/>
She feels her heart between her ears, like a mighty drum. He's so sincere.<br/>
<br/>
"That, and I love you, too."<br/>
<br/>
It's like her heart grows two sizes; it throbs. It beats so fast, it reminds her of when he told her he was going in to save Morpheus, when she'd been able to feel her heart against her chest. The thought crosses her mind - no one's ever told her they loved her in the real world.<br/>
<br/>
Until now.<br/>
<br/>
Neo turns to leave but pauses with a hand on the door when he hears her.<br/>
<br/>
"What was that?"</p><p>He slowly turns and looks at her from those big brown eyes of his, his windows to the world.<br/>
<br/>
"Say it again."<br/>
<br/>
For a moment it's like he's unsure which part she means, until he looks at her again.<br/>
<br/>
"I love you. And I need you."<br/>
<br/>
She moves. He opens his arms as she reaches out and wraps her own around him, pulling him into an embrace so tight it leaves Neo struggling a bit to breathe, before he eases into it and holds her back. His hand rubs her neck and the soft hair there, as he feels her warm breath against his neck. He can't see her face but knows her eyes are closed.<br/>
<br/>
She'd give her life to protect this, she thinks. There are still things she's uncertain of, but that is not one of them.<br/>
<br/>
Trinity doesn't know what's going to happen from here. Neither does Neo. But as they stand there, holding each other, she knows they're going to be alright.<br/>
<br/>
Their faces slowly part. Brown eyes find icy blue. Trinity smiles and inside, it's like thaw after winter.<br/>
<br/>
"Say it again," she whispers.<br/>
<br/>
"I love you, Trinity."<br/>
<br/>
They say she's cold. But right now, Trinity feels warm.</p>
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